I don’t often dream, but when I do… the results are either awesome, or vividly disturbing. In this case, I’m having trouble deciding which.
The day felt like a normal day. I came home from work, I played some games.. stuff happened. Next thing I know, some crazy mist shit swells up, and I pass out. I wake up in a strange room, surrounded by nerf guns and weapons of kid destruction. Immediately, I stocked up as if it were a freakin’ armory. Light-up flamethrower, rocket-launcher, assault rifle, shotgun.. I got the nerf or plastic equivalent of it all. Eventually, the door to the room opens up into a backyard. Across the yard is this large beastly lookin’ thing. I pull out one of my guns and shoot. It dies. Clearly I’ve won this round.
I head back inside and start investigating my new dwellings. I find this little kid. I load him up with guns and we start exploring the house. A timer appears, signaling our next battle to be in a few minutes. I try to load him up as best I can, but during the next battle, he takes a nerf dart to the forehead. Kid drops dead. I whip out my flamethrower and go all angry Ahnold on the combatants.
A few more of these rounds go by..and more of the house opens up. A buddy of mine (David) is similarly armed, only he’s got a bunch of nerf swords. Without needing to say anything, I divvy up some of my guns, because guns are better than swords. We have no idea what the hell is going on, or why.
Next round involves real people. Backyard opens up to show to women holding ping-pong ball launchers. We deftly avoid them and shoot them. One goes down, but the other gets hit in the leg and drops to the ground screaming “WHY DID IT HAVE TO END LIKE THIS? ALL I DID WAS BAIL ON MY PARENTS FOR DINNER”..
It was then, my dream self realized, that this arena was no ordinary arena. It was for people who had done something seemingly wrong, and some greater morals ubermensch brought us all here to redeem ourselves in mortal combat. Then I woke up with a sense that I had some something deeply wrong..and I have no idea what.
Thanks dream! Thanks for making my morning just that much more fucked up.